GRANDPA GOLDURP'S GUIDE to MONSTERS, MYTHS and NOT SO NICE THINGS: Tarasque

Hello boy's and girls and welcome to the first installment of Grandpa Goldurp's Guide to: Monsters, Myths and Not So Nice Things. Today's ferocious frightening fanged fiend?
The Tarasque.

The Tarasque is a gargantuan creature 50 feet tall and 70 feet long. It is said to have 6 legs, the head of a lion, the shell of a turtle covered in spikes and a long tail that ends in a scorpions stinger or a spiked ball depending on the account! It is a remorseless killing machine that spends most of its time underground in the deep dark places of the world. Fortunately for most adventures it sleeps a great deal of the time from months to sometimes years!

It can eat almost constantly when it wakes and uses its desire for destruction to fuel its hunger. Beware should you ever encounter one boys and girls not only is it horribly powerful it is also amazingly armored its scaly hide can deflect most weapons and even some magic! It also has the damnable ability to regenerate making it damn near immortal! Its origins are unknown some say it is a curse from the elder gods some say a drunk wizard created it whilst trying to transform his pet turtle into a bride!

Stay safe in those dungeons kids and as always: don't forget to clear your inventory!

SOUND THE HORN: Top 5 RPG video game intros!

By now you may know that I love me some RPG video games, and one of my favorite things is when the opening to the game be it the music or what have you gets you pumped to play the game. So Here is my top 5 RPG video game intros.

5. Wild Arms (PSX released 1996 by Media Vision)

Its simple but somthing about it gets my jacked to go and fight the forces of evil, plus the animation is fantastic. The game itself is also very good based on a future where guns are very rare and considered magical.

4. Final Fantasy Tactics (PSX released by square 1997)

Final Fantasy tactics is my opinion the greatest turn based strategy/RPG ever made. The rich story combined with the incredible jobs system and intense combat made it a legend in my eyes. If you haven't played this yet, I don't know what your doing with your life.

3. Deadly Towers (NES released by Lenar 1986)

I included the box art here because I remember when I was little I thought it was the coolest thing ever, combine that with the awesome music that accompanied the intro story and I was in heaven. To be fair here though this game is a bastard, it has the NES rep equivalent that dark souls has for difficulty with none of the redeeming qualities.

2.Chrono Trigger (PSX port released by Square 1999)

Chrono Trigger is one of the best RPG's ever made by those warlocks and story telling masters at Square Enix. Even though the game was originally released for the SuperNES I chose the intro for the PlayStation  port because it has the amazing animated intro by the same folks that do the Dragon Ball series as well as the art for the Dragon Quest games. This game is awesome, a bunch of random heroes pulled from different time periods banding together to save the time stream? SIGN ME UP!

1. Wizards and Warriors (NES released by Rare 1987)

WIZARDS AND FUCKING WARRIORS! Once again the box art has a huge part to play with this choice but listen to that theme! To me its still one of the best themes Ive ever heard in my life. I have such fond memories of this game when I was little and me and my Pop stayed up all night to beat it. The game is awesome and still holds up to this day, its a really fun platform rpg game. If you have the means you have to play this it is addictive and a blast to play! Look out for doughnut wizards!